Worldofmyown

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

A NEW YEAR, A NEW BEGINNING, A NEW START.

YEARLY SELF-REFLECTION POST 2008

It is always at the end of the year, that I would sit down and start typing all my thoughts in my blog. Because having a online journal isn't a bad thing after all, where memories are kept, and when you read through those archives, it is really heart-warming whereby you felt that you life was filled with happenings :)

Every year have been a year full of tears of joy and pain. I would say this year is eventful :) I think that life is not just about fulfilling your dreams and what we have always been wanting to do. It's about going the extra mile and putting in that extra bit of effort to complete every task and gaining the sense of satisfaction of achieving something. Seriously, life ain't a smooth ride. It's more like a roller coaster ride, ups and downs, high and lows, happy and sad. Everything happens for a reason - for us to learn. I have learnt not to speak too much, not to speak too fast, and NEVER to speak your mind. Because people are mostly sensitive and while they say "it's okay", it isn't...even for myself, we do not want negative stuff and setbacks that happened to us and when we are unsure of how to deal with them, we determinedly ignore the rest because they are supposed to simply go away and by wishing that it doesn't and will never happen, it actually makes us feel a little better and comforted. Though I have always pride myself on being myself, I guess when we grow up, we learn that nobody accepts a true self. We all want masks, and deceit, and superficiality.

There is just so much to push fate. I just pray that God use whatever little I have and multiple that to do my best in everything and put me my best-self, to always stay by my side, leading and guiding me. I thank the people who believed in me and everyone around me was so willing to help me along, in a way or another. No one knows what I am thinking, no words under heaven could ever describe.

Time passes so fast, it is difficult to comprehend when the month timer struck 12, and the next moment, it is already the new year of 2009. It just came, and now it's gone. It's always hard to stay the same, you couldn't turn back time. But move on, because you are missing most of your life. I am glad that I have been fully utilizing my time and strive to improve myself on all improvable aspects. I finally pass my maths this year, it's always been a obstacle for me because friends around me know that my maths is always the subject that kills me. I hate numbers( but I love $$ ). I can't do maths, I hate calculations. But whatever it is, atleast I managed to secure a c5 - which in terms, is a good start for me and I hope that I will continue to work hard, maintain my standard and strive hard academically. Also, enjoying my days as I work towards my goals and hanging out with friends. Sometimes I felt that I am not being myself, something cryptic. Some things really don't come easy for me, I was really glad with the outcome and was happy that I didn't screw things up. I kind of learnt from a lesson and made good effort to make things better.

To many, life is often associated with dreams. People say, one who fails to dream, dreams to fail. Well to me.. life is much more than just dreams. Cause dreams they seem to cost money but money costs some dreams.

I am thankful to be able to talk to my parents, have time to read, blog about my life and look at the pictures and what I have been going through. Simple things that makes me smile, I don't need the world, I just need the ones I love. Thank you for being there when I needed you. Reaching out to me when i feel despair and when my burdens are too much to carry. Thank you for being there to encourage, lending me a listening year about my dreams and silly ideas. Thank you for cheering me up and making me laugh and helped each other grow.

At this point in time, I would have already insert a countdown calendar and be so excited of that special day of mine. But however, I always have this mindset that the more you are looking forward to, the more disappointment it is. Am I wrong? I don't know, I have no idea why. This year's birthday was a _____ but atleast my family celebrated with me. Which is more than enough. I always have this thought of people doing up like an album with pictures, having wishes written as a birthday present but it is just a figment of my imagination.
But I hope 2009 birthday's will be a joyful one, but I doubt so. Just let the nature takes its cause.

We fight, we quarrel, we scream, we cry. Be if of your family, friends or the love one of your life. At the end of the day, we have learn our lesson and lastly, cherish each other's presence isn't it? I hate myself for not being able to hold on to my anger, spouting nonsense that hurt my loved ones. And by the time I realise that I am wrong, it's too late. It's like a nail piercing through the board, but when you are taking it out. The hole will always be there, and nothing can ever be done unless you find a new replacement. You have seen my bad/lazy/decent/wild/extreme side of me and can be nasty at times.

Lastly, all the best to myself and the people around me taking 'N's and 'O's.
It's going to be a tough year ahead..2009 will be a year to study hard, no more fooling, serious in work, and do well for 'N's and get promoted to Sec 5 successfully and also for 'O' level Chinese.

To end this entry, I would like to thank all the people around me. Thanks for always being there for me, giving me motivation, encouragement, and confident and makes me to believe in myself that I.Can.Do.It and Impossible is nothing, Impossible is I'M Possible. Like what Miss Chan said : '' There's a star within each and everyone of you, you will burst forth into radiance one day '' and I hope I can be the star.

Yes, and I want to be the one smiling, jumping for joy, and being elated for doing well AND of course, without any regrets at all.

What did i learn, what did you learn?
Here in this life we seem so lost. On this side of brightness we don't know where to go.

2008 is coming to an end.
Life just goes on, and on, and on...

DOWN THE MEMORY LANE.........